The never ending predicament of dating a cheater. I’ve seen this happen so many times in my life. Two people start in a nice, happy, healthy relationship and then one cheats and from then on it just spirals down into daily arguments, competition and insecurity.

There are generally two ways that people handle cheating. You have the relationship where it becomes a competition between the two people and the cheating cycle is never ending. They constantly try to one up each other and find someone else each time landing in the same relationship. Then you have the relationships where one person has cheated and the other dies a little every day. The cheater can’t stand them because they are hurt, demanding, insecure and it seems like nothing will fix their mindset. So what do you do? When you love somebody but they have cheated and you just want to make it work.

The first thing is that it’s not going to be easy. If you are one who has been cheated on you won’t feel comfortable until you are convinced that they want to be with you. Then from there it’s all about composure. You will be upset and uncomfortable and for the first few weeks you’re going to want to spend as much time with them as possible. Let them know that you’re insecure and you need them to help and love you so that you are able to get over it.

They messed up but if they still want to be with you even though it’s going to feel like hell then you need to talk to them in the most calm way that you can. They  need to understand that you need to be with them to develop trust and remember those feelings. In order to help stop it you’ll need to reign in bitter thoughts that you have. It’s easy to get angry and continuously bring it up but it’s not going to heal the relationship to do this.

If you are the cheater and you want this person back then you need to prove it through tedious work. You’ll have to be there for them. It’s hard work. It gets aggravating and it’s tedious. You know that you messed up but the constant reminder kills you. There is nothing you can do but continue to offer support until they feel comfortable.

Some people like to say that the act of cheating can make some relationships stronger. I doubt the validity of that statement. You definitely realize the love you hold when it threatens to leave and it might kick you into gear but it threatens the solid foundation that you built a relationship.

If you have cheated. Get rid of the person that you have cheated on your significant other with. You can’t have both of them in your life as much as you’d like to justify it or make it work. The person you’re choosing to be with needs your undivided love, attention and affection at this moment.