In the world of lesbian dating, it’s not uncommon to find a match who is a distinctly different age. We see many prominent examples including  Rachel Madow and her partner, Susan Mikula and previously with Sarah Paulson and her Ex, Cherry Jones. Gaps in age tend to be more accepted in the LGBT community but why? That being said, how large of an age difference is just too big? Is there such a thing? Are there specific benefits or pitfalls associated with dating outside your age?

Dating Outside Your Age Group in the LGBT Community

It’s safe to conclude that we in the LGBT community are more accepting or are less prone to judge those couples with a larger than average age gap. We’ve already had to work hard to overcome misconceptions, stereotypes and down right abuse based on our sexuality. Something like age becomes insignificant compared to all the things we’ve had to overcome to have a fulfilling lesbian relationship. You love who you love, period.

When is the Age Gap Too Large?

We’ve mentioned Rachel Maddow and her partner Susan and in their case they are 15 years apart. While Sarah Paulson and Cherry Jones are now broken up, they have a 22 year age gap between them. If we look to the relationships around us we all probably see examples where we may have thought “She’s really robbing the cradle/robbing the grave.” But when is age really that important?

Honestly, age is a bigger factor the younger you are. The more and more we evaluate couples at various age groups, the more we see that once people have entered their 30’s age becomes a more insignificant factor. We’d like to say that age absolutely does not matter but suggest that those in their early 20’s lack the maturity to maintain a lasting relationship with those in their mid to late 30’s and beyond. We’re not being haters, just realistic.

Common  Pitfalls

• Health concerns especially as we age does become a larger factor. Communication is the key here.
• Sometimes cultural differences can make things even more difficult than they already are. You;ve already overcome questions concerning your sexuality so don’t let an age gap stop you from being happy no matter what her parents say.
• Finding common hobbies can sometimes be difficult especially if a high energy level is required. We have to realize that energy levels and even free time may not be on  par. Keep this in mind and find ways to balance.

Further Advice

• We’ll list some quick tips for those who differ in age so you can make the most out of the time you spend together:
• Hang out with other couples in a shared age range. If you’re in your early 30’s and she’s in her mid 40’s seek couples and friends who fall somewhere within that range. You’ll both feel more comfortable.
• Forget about the concept of “The Greatest Generation” i.e. don’t make it a competition. If you spend time thinking one age group is “better” than another you’ve lost. If you care about each other you won’t try to make yourself feel superior based on age.
• Be clear about your relationship goals. Women at different stages of their lives will have different goals. Be sure there is common ground
• Different experiences are enriching. Don’t think of your different perspectives or life experiences as a negative. Learn to appreciate the different insights the two of you bring to the table.
• Never hide your partner away or avoid introducing them to your friends. No matter if they are younger or older than you make sure you include your partner.

Have you been in a relationship with someone in a different age group? Are you currently dating someone younger or older than yourself? We’d love to hear from you and get your own perspective. Contact us on Twitter @GFMDating