When you’re in high school it seems your main goal is to date the absolutely most attractive person that you can find. Whether or not you’re in the same friend group or even have the same interests it is the be all end all. When you get older you realize it’s actually impossible to date someone based purely on their attraction level if they’re not within reach. It’s sometimes not easy to cross over friend groups and you just become bored. Every once in a while you will find that popular and attractive person who is within reach and at first you will be absolutely thrilled that you can show them off and love when your family, friends and frienemies are in awe. However, you soon learn that whenever you go out it seems that they know everybody. Girls are always chatting up your partner and at first you know you should be flattered and so you reign in that jealously but after a while it becomes exasperating.

Is dating the most attractive person everything it’s intended to be? To be fair though I’m definitely not saying that you should go and purposely find somebody ugly in a quest to have some deranged upper hand. Over time I think we just learn that attraction in ways of personalities and interests makes every feeling multiplied and better. You do find them physically attractive but it seems like they are an attractive just for you. You fall in love with their crooked smile. You are able to build a future together. Or even just hook ups are better with somebody who caught your attention with their words.

You also have to remember that the older you get that attraction is going to go away. We live in a society right now where most people want somebody to grow old with and you’re going to want somebody who will stick. That you can really and truly love and get along with.

So, in essence, if you’re dating somebody just purely based on their looks even if you don’t get jealous and you don’t mind the flirting and the fact that they’ll probably going out often- which isn’t a bad thing. It’s good to have a balance of accepting these things. Just without attraction on an emotional or intellectual level you are probably are not going to last. It’s the sad truth. I went through a relationship where I was really excited that finally it seemed an attractive girl really liked me. We got in a relationship and my friends said she was good looking but her humor was always off to me. She only seemed happy when putting others down in a sly way and when we got together we had no idea how to communicate. We’d end up just watching movies and so when it finally became time to deal with something stressful without communication we just fell apart.

I was shocked at the time that in a stressful situation I was alone but later I realized that wasn’t a bad thing and that was exactly what we both needed. Later on I’ve found people that I can laugh with and feel comfortable and who are just as attractive to me. I learned, as cliché as it sounds that they outside isn’t everything. It’s a message you probably won’t get until you’re finally in the situation yourself but it’s a good one and now I can say “HA! See I was right!”