femmeA (traditionally) feminine woman. Mainly used to refer to a feminine lesbian, and especially a feminine lesbian who is attracted to masculine, or butch lesbians.
Often thought of as passive, dulcet, timid little things with long locks of hair; prissydresses; great big fawn eyes; a high, baby-doll voice; the courage of a lamb and the intelligence of a gardenia. But we’re all human, so don’t expect that stereotype of finding every femme to be submissive, faint-hearted little fairies. Plenty of femmes kick butt and are even the dominant over their butch partners.
-via. Urban Dictionary
Being a femme lesbian is hard. Nobody is willing to accept that not all lesbians follow the typical and stereo typed code instilled upon lesbians. So today we’ll go over some of the issues that femme lesbians have to go through in their everyday life because liking women and being in a relationship with them is apparently not enough to prove our worth.
“You don’t look gay” or “You’re too girly/pretty/beautiful to be gay”
In order for people to understand you’re gay you have to make a big deal about enunciating it and repeating it. Nobody is willing to accept the fact that you look like a stereotypical female and that you like girls. People will tell you that it’s a phase and they will be quite rude and tell you that it can’t possibly be true. It’s almost impossible to convince people that your girlfriend is not just a “friend.”
Guys
Guys are under the impression that you’re a lesbian solely to please them. They’ll tell you to make out in front of them and put on a show aka. something that they would never tell a couple that included a male. They also like to think that they can turn you straight or that they can turn you on. The worst is when a femme gets into a relationship with a butch and then you hear the never ending argument that the a butch is so close to a guy that you’re actually straight.
The Bar
Going to the bar is a terrible experience because once again, everybody thinks you’re straight. If you do decide to hook up or make out with a girl they assume it’s because you’re drunk and just having fun with your friends for attention. Meeting girls at the bar is just essentially out of the question and bringing your girlfriend to the bar generally results in you becoming berated.
Being a femme lesbian is hard, people just don’t understand that people a lesbian means that you just literally like women. They think that you’re in a phase or tricking them. So here’s to the girls who don’t fit in with the butch lesbians but still love them nonetheless. Keep doing what you do and don’t let anybody get to you or stop you.
