Dating tips saturate the internet; it’s not hard to find them everywhere and being shared on every possible social media platform. The only problem is that there isn’t much of a focus on lesbian dating advice and so I’m going to fix that. It’s time to share more lesbian specific dating tips!
Online Dating
Yeah, yeah it’s sad that we can’t just go around meeting each other at grocery stores like many straight people. Even Whole Foods is a gamble with Suburban yoga moms making us think twice, so it’s important that if you’re looking for a date that you try putting yourself online. This is especially helpful if there are no lesbian bars or cafes in your area. All online dating sites allow people to connect from all over but be sure to find an online community that is suited for you and your expectations. Some sites focus on enhanced matching, others focus on more of a causal approach. Try GirlfriendsMeet for a way to browse and interact without the need to set up a complicated profile.
Gay Bars
It’s actually possible to meet someone from online at a gay bar. However, do not bring your online date to a gay bar to meet all your friends for the first time. It’s okay to take five and let things move slowly. Or you can go to the gay bar and try talking… you already have liquid courage but PLEASE do not get too drunk. Nobody likes a sloppy girl all over them… okay no good lesbian does. Hopefully you live in a community large enough for a good gay bar. You may encounter the same crown time and time again at any one establishment, so if you’re not happy on your first or 2nd trip, try a different night or a different location.
Conversation and Connections
Now that you know where to find lesbians your next step is how to talk to them. Really the reason there aren’t many lesbian dating tips is because we’re all human and you just have to treat people the way you want to be treated. Suggesting specific advice about hoe to talk to a lesbian would seem counterproductive. As always, find common ground, be attentive and listen.
Your Look
Try to look nice, I’m not putting you in a box and saying you have to look a certain way but the fact is when you look good, you feel good and dressing up for a person is a sign of respect because you took the time to groom yourself before meeting them. For many of us “looking nice” has vastly different meanings. Obviously there tends to be differences between how a Lipstick Lesbian a Soft Butch or Diesel Dyke likes to present herself. We each have our own style and rule number one is selecting clothing you are comfortable in. If you’re style is more androgynous and find it difficult to find a good selection, check out our previous post on androgynous fashion.
Paying for Stuff, Gifts and More
Pay for things on the first date if you are the one to ask her out. If you have stepped up and taking the risk, keep the momentum going and pay for the date. If things work out and you get a 2nd date you can share some of that responsibility. It is okay to bring a little gift but don’t do anything major. I’d suggest something that can be a conversation piece and reflects you as a person or illustrates something you know about her. Flowers are okay, a cute CD of something you know they like is okay, an iPhone so they can text you every minute is not.
Discussing your Ex
As with all first dates do not go on and on about your ex-girlfriends, it’s okay to make a quick why it didn’t work statement but please stop there. We all hate to be compared to someone else and during a date this can kill the evening. As lesbians, we tend to have a bad reputation for bitching about our Ex (and most of the time with good reason…I swear). Let’s all agree to let this stereotype die and simply focus on the present when we can.
The key steps to remember to lesbian dating are: approach the person, pay attention, pay for the date if you asked, look good and don’t talk about exes.
Any tips or dating advice we missed? Have a dating story you wish to share with us? Let us know on Twitter @GFMDating Be sure to follow us and share your opinions with the community!
