While it’s very true that there are all manner of straight and gay relationships, we tend to picture a stereotypical lesbian couple when we think of a typical lesbian pairing. In our minds we tend to see a fem matched up with a butch as one side of a partnership naturally needs to be masculine while the other more feminine. Why is that?

Why would we apply such an old-world way of thinking to a modern lesbian relationship?

Luckily for us, YouTuber Arielle Scarcella examines these questions and shares a video featuring a variety of masculine women talking about dating other butch lesbians.

We commonly apply expectations or perceptions that aren’t true or representative of the community as a whole. There are many, many lesbian relationships that defy this butch-fem formula and today we look squarely at couples comprised of more masculine women.

There are plenty of examples of two “butch” lesbians or “studs” living together in a satisfying and rewarding relationship. The concept of asking “who is the top” has become as archaic as it is adorable in terms of overall ignorance. Important aspects like personality and having a real connection tend to strengthen relationships more than superficial traits. This is as true in lesbian relationships as they are in straight couples.

The video also outlines how personality and dominance plays a role. Even if the outside world perceives a couple as being “butch” that may not really be representative of the actual relationship. We tend to assume too much based solely on appearances. The true concept of “fem” and “butch” is more than just looks.

Long story short, planet Earth is a big place filled with all manner of human beings. We can no longer apply preconceived ideas from the heterosexual world to all of our relationships. It’s as simple as that.