One evening a friend calls you. They tell you to get dressed because you’re going to a party and maybe this is great because you’ve been wanting to go out forever or maybe they are dragging you out of the house. Either way, hopefully you look your best because you never know who you are going to see.

You arrive at that party and you see your ex. It’s probably not a big deal if you made amends or see them all the time. It might be a bigger deal if they hurt you and you spent a while trying to put them in the back of your mind. Now all of a sudden you see them and they are the ugliest person and yet the most beautiful person. Life can be so complicated…

They look the same but maybe they are wearing something new and it’s somebody that you knew so well but it feels like you don’t know them at all. Hopefully they don’t see your first but if they do you might luck out and they’ll make the move on deciding to come up and ask how you are or ignore you.

The best way to respond is passively, make sure you stay calm and feel at peace with yourself. You may want to reach for the bottle or do straight shots of vodka but if you black out and you’re right by them prepare for a terrible night of regrets.

If they are with a new person or with a group of friends be polite but acknowledge them. If you may contact smile and give them an understanding nod if they reach out have polite chit chat and if not just keep walking.

If they are alone stop by and casually ask them how they are. Be careful that you’re not asking in a condescending way, bragging or digging too deep to gain information that will hurt yourself.

As mad as you are or as much as they hurt you the best thing that you can do is be poised and handle it in a calm manner. It might hurt after, you might go home and thousands of memories will fill every crevice in your brain. You’ll have to hold it in and let it out later when you’re alone.

This happens, weeks, months and days from a break up. The important thing is not causing anymore problems and taking care of yourself, your mental health and your state of well being. Who knows maybe you realize how silly it was to be angry about it before because it all seems to frivolous now.

If it was a bad break up avoid asking them to hang out or making plans with them. You’ll be tempted to and want to know more about their life but this may cause problems. Especially if they are or you are in a closed relationship.