You are in a relationship and everything is perfect. However is everything really perfect? You’ve paid for the last 6 dates and boiling under your happy facade is a rumbling pit of endless debt. You wonder if your partner is the same or if they have stacks hiding away. You’re getting serious but how do you talk about it?

Or maybe you have already had a tricky conversation about it and need to smooth things over. Whether your bank accounts or joint or not, here are some tips on how to talk to your girlfriend about money.

Stay away from the term “budget” it’s good to plan money out but as soon as it becomes a “budget” then there is always this lingering strain of worry in the air. Somebody might not think it’s fair and you’ll argue about what is important to you.

Never compare the amounts you make. You both know and were well aware of that going into a relationship. Love is about taking each other and the compromise might be difficult but never shame the other person for making more or less; that can bring up other unneeded arguments.

Next you want to make sure all your bills are out in the open. Go through them together to see who is using what and what you’re paying for. From there you will be able to separate and make plans for who pays what accordingly. Of course this is all up to you and your situation but it’s always great to know.

It will always be hard to figure out but open communication is always a good. Even if one partner is a stay at home person it’s important that they are involved in financial matters. Money is such a draining frivolous thing to be stressed about but it’s a very real thing. It takes team work to make the dream work.

The holidays are hitting hard and New Years is coming up so get those financial matters sorted! You’ll appreciate it down the line.