In every type of relationship you will each have your similarities and differences, and in a lesbian relationship it isn’t much different. From what to do on a Saturday night, to what each other wears, to not getting along with each other’s friends: you will argue. The one thing can always help a relationship is spending a little time apart. Giving each other space and some breathing room to grow is always a good thing—have your own separate sets of hobbies and activities you can do without each other. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder…usually.

Also make sure you both make communication a priority. I find that if you take a minute to breathe and think about what you want to communicate to your partner, it helps a lot. Even better: try not to get to the point of arguing by keeping the lines of communication open from the beginning. If your opinion differs from your partner’s try to figure out a way to say it where she will feel included in the decision process or that her opinion is valued. If you need to ask her to do something differently you can always say, “I would really appreciate it if you ….” Also ask her if there is anything she would like you to do differently.

Here are some more common things lesbians tend to fight about.

Sarah and Adrianna from the UnsolicitedProject talk about some of the different things lesbian couples fight about, like who is going to get the cat if we break up! Living with someone who uses all of your stuff and who wears your close can be difficult. Just remember why the two of you got into the relationship in the first place!